Lessons of a Mother, #1

Freyja likes standing while playing! 

I'm not perfect. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but I'm not! As for most people, I will always have many things on which I can improve. Even though this is nothing new, now that I am a mother I feel a new-found sense of responsibility. I want to set an example for Freyja, showing her positive ways to react in a not-always-so-positive world. 
I'm sure people without children also feel this sense of importance regarding the example they set, but for me it was after I had Freyja that I felt a stronger pull to polish my character and figure out my values. 

Before Freyja was born, I was easily annoyed at some of the other drivers on the road. While I never usually let the anger fester during the day, I still think I reacted too strongly. My hand was quick to hit the horn and I became cynical, figuring I would mostly encounter apathetic and aloof drivers on my commute. Now I try to minimize my reaction and simply expect incompetence. When the car cuts me off on the highway, I don't mutter a name or swear under my breath. 

She gets very focused :)

Another change since Freyja was born is that I have become much less curious and judgmental about why people do the things that they do. If it's not hurting anyone else, it's not usually worth me worrying about. If I have a difficult time seeing where someone is coming from, I have more tolerance, patience, and can accept that some things just don't make sense. Even though I once thought I might do something a certain way--like always wear a cover while breastfeeding in public--my experience changes my thoughts. For example, I now better understand the woman I saw last year at Starbucks who was breastfeeding without a cover. A cover can get hot, is one more thing to carry around, is not necessarily liked by the baby while feeding, and draws even more attention. If I now encountered a woman exposing her breast in public to feed her child, I would likely think of her as practical. The child is hungry...mom feeds the child...the child doesn't want to be covered. It's as simple as that. 

She just needs a little support...

The next time I am at a store and see a child throwing a tantrum or a mother acting impatient with her child, I will not judge but instead say a little prayer and remember that the mother is doing her best and she can't control her child. She can teach and guide and attempt to enforce rules, but even the most well-behaved children can stubbornly assert their independence. 

I do believe that almost everyone is trying their best...and usually that is good enough. Sometimes people face barriers like mental health, depression, financial struggles, and even bad luck. As humans it is natural to compare ourselves to others, but we shouldn't be so quick to assume we know why people act the way they do or that they are "wrong" & we are "right." I catch myself slipping into an old habit at times, but quickly remind myself that it isn't usually worth it to get upset. I want to be a good role model for Freyja in the many years to come!

My little girl is getting so big!